peeping at me from around the corner

I lost it. One minute it was there, then it was gone. Then it was back. Nope, gone again, for a long time. A brief glimpse, then.... lost... Again and again and again, each time more brief than the last. And then one day.... just gone.... and at first I didn't even notice. I stopped looking for it.

I don't know why, but I have been reminded of how great it was. Now I want it back. I am looking again for it. Am I looking in vain? I don't know.  But I think that maybe, just maybe, joy is peeping at me from around the corner....

random thoughts of a busy mind

tv blaring. dance, dance, dance.
mind whirling. try to relax.
where is the stillness? silence missing.
but can't stop, can't stop.
stuck in this merry-go-round.
wait for it. keep on waiting for it.
then wait some more.
just around the corner.
no stress, just breathe.
breathe.

how i moved to melbourne part 2

Well, I don't know that I am necessarily more contemplative (being the "action person" that I am, contemplation does not come naturally), but I don't want the story to be lost in time and busyness. So here is the second instalment (which is really the first instalment because I did not really say anything in my first instalment)!

This move has been a long time in the making. Looking back now, I see that seeds have been sown over the course of the last, say, 6 years.

Possibly the first seed was sown back in 2001 when I backpacked around Europe for 6 weeks with a friend. As you would expect, my horizons were expanded and for the first time I asked myself, "Self, do you want to move to London as some of your friends are doing right now?" And the answer was a resounding "No!" I found London to be fab to visit but too crowded and claustrophobic to make a life in. But the important thing was the asking of the question.

Then over the next few years friends moved away, to places like London, Tokyo, Melbourne and Sydney. Another seed.

Then in January 2006, a big seed. After an extended period of workaholism, I needed to have a break from work and decided to get out of Adelaide for a bit. Without a lost of cash, my options were limited. So I visited Melbourne for 5 days. I stayed with some friends who worked, which meant that I had the days free to explore Melbourne. And that I did. Despite it being January, the weather was a little on the average side, so my exploration included a LOT of coffee places. To give you an indication of the number of coffee places I went to, and the amount of time spent in those coffee places, lets just say that I read most of War and Peace in Melbourne those 5 days. But I did manage to spend time in the City, Fed Square, Carlton, Richmond and St Kilda. I went to restaurants, I shopped, I saw live jazz and I spent time with some friends who lived in Melbourne. I had a great time.

Not long after that I decided to start looking for another job. July 2006 marked my 8 year anniversary with the law firm I was working in, and some cracks had begun appearing in my "perfect" job. While I worked with some lovely and talented people, had access to fantastic clients, was given challenging work and had spent a very happy 8 years with a firm who had treated me well, the requirements of the job were evolving into something that, to be honest, I did not want to spend the rest of my life doing. It was make or break time.

There were two choices before me if I wanted to stay at that firm. The first was to make enormous sacrifices to become partner. To achieve this would require me to spend some of my precious evenings and weekends at client functions and relationship building events. It would require me to "put myself out there" and market myself to a large business community full of people I did not know. It would require large amounts of effort in marketing and business development, with the reward so tiny compared to the amount of time sacrificed. And yet that reward was precisely the thing on which my success in that career would hinge. And it would not end once I made partner. I tried it for a while, and to be honest the strain on my time and the worry over whether I would make it took too much of a toll on me. I knew that long term I would end up a stressed and unhappy person. It just was not natural, it just wasn't ME.

The second choice was to stay at the same level, as a "career Senior Associate". While in principle I think that this is a great option, for me it just didn't sit right. I wanted to still be growing and evolving as a lawyer, so this didn't seem to be the right thing for me. It seemed like I would end up in a rut if I ignored that desire that I have to grow and learn.

So, as both options had little appeal, a new job was the order of the day. As law firms are all similar in nature, and I believed I was working for the best firm in Adelaide, it seemed to me that moving to another firm would not fix the problem.

That left inhouse positions. For those non-lawyers among us, inhouse lawyers work for a company rather than a law firm (ie, one client instead of many). Why would that be different? Well, the inhouse lawyer does not need to do all that marketing to bring in new companies as clients. The inhouse lawyer works with the other people in the company to provide legal assistance and solutions, and gets an opportunity to really know the business and to develop good relationships with the business people in the company. And there is plenty of work to do, pretty much all the time. There is no need to go out and hunt it down.

The idea of going inhouse appealed to me immensely. I had always loved the clients that I did a lot of work for, as I got to know the people really well. Once I get over the hurdle of initially meeting someone, I am good at building relationships with them. That is the main quality that I could see would make me more suitable to being an inhouse lawyer than a firm lawyer. Also I loved the idea of having a lot of work to do, without having to scrounge it up.

to be continued...

how i moved to melbourne part 1

so. where to start? my post entitled "who am i" (24.4.2007) hinted that there was change in the air. boy was that an understatement. within a month of that post, i decided to change my job (impacting the rest of my career) and my home (to another state!!). this from a girl who a month before that post would never have even considered moving interstate. what the?

but i'm getting ahead of myself. now that i am here in melbourne, having survived the most hectic 3 month period of my life, i want to slow down, take stock, reflect, contemplate and unpack what has happened. this is, after all, the biggest thing i have done. ever. i can't take this lightly.

but.... i am not quite in the right frame of mind tonight. i will go quiet myself down and get all contemplatey, and return.

these are a few of my favourite things

In no particular order:

1. the first spring blossoms on the trees, especially in oakden
2. sunsets at the beach, especially when there is just enough cloud to make it interesting, but not so much cloud that it drowns out the brilliant shades of colour
3. singing, especially before an appreciative audience
4. helping someone else achieve something they could not have done on their own
5. drinking quality coffee/red wine with a quality friend
6. seeing new places, experiencing new things, meeting new people, especially when those places, things and people are interesting and enjoyable
7. songs that grip my heart
8. listening to the rain and thunderstorms when snug in bed
9. accomplishing something difficult
10. the way that, when i am standing on the platform at melbourne central, i know the train is coming before i can see it or hear it, because i feel on my face a gentle breeze which builds up to a strong wind just before the train arrives at the platform
11. relaxing on a saturday morning with brekkie, coffee and the paper at a bridge rd cafe

its true

really i mean it... i know you probably don't believe me but i am not lying!

much to say...

...but no time to say it in! Hang in there, loyal readers, there will be updates, and I promise they will be GOOD.

who am i?

I was born in 1975 into a typical suburban middle-class Adelaide family. At a young age I demonstrated an academic aptitude which persisted thoughout my schooling. I also had a natural talent for singing which I developed through choirs, musicals and singing lessons. After completing high school, I spent 5 years at University trying various courses and eventually deciding on a major in Law. In the meantime a car crash changed my outlook on life, from being a fun-seeking life-playing girl to being someone who sought the deeper meaning in life and, as a result, a relationship with Jesus. Six months after graduation I was recruited by a top Adelaide law firm where I spent 9 years developing my skills as a lawyer and learning the ropes of the profession, while at the same time serving in my local church wanting to make a difference in other people's lives. I continued with my singing dream, singing in my local church and in a jazz band formed with some friends. I also bought a large house and became known as Mamma Bec due to my tendency to mother my younger housemates. After work requirements became more intense I devoted more time to work, and as a result ended up commuting interstate for a time, during which my mind was opened to the possibility that I maybe, just maybe could live interstate if the right career opportunity opened up........

What next? Who am I? There is still so much to write....

I am looking forward to writing the next chapter!!!!!

hot jazz

We came, we saw, we gigged.

Last Sunday a monumental occasion took place. My jazz band played at our first ever paying gig. Thats right, we GOT PAID to have a blast performing our craft (as I like to call it) in front of an appreciative, yet small, audience who braved extreme temperatures and blustery wind to hear us play.

While we are still unnamed (and suggestions are welcome!!!) we took the name Hot Jazz for the day - it was appropriate in more ways than one :)

May there be many more gigs in future!

i have a boyfriend

On this wonderful love-filled Valentine's Day 2007 I am pleased to announce to the world that I have a boyfriend. He is tall, dark and handsome. He is the strong silent type. He is one of the hottest guys I have ever seen... and he is virtual.

Yes that's right, my new boyfriend, Clayton, exists only in the Sims 2 game on the laptop of one of my housemates (not even my own laptop). He was created after one of my 3 lovely housemates decided to set up a Sims 2 world that is exactly like our house - with one small change - in the Sims 2 world each of us has a good-looking boyfriend.

While we may have been forced together against my will, I have to say that I am enjoying this new "relationship". I have someone to admire (did I mention that Clayton is hot?) and someone to brag about to my friends. But I still have all of the perks of the single woman - I can do what I want, when I want, with whom I want.

He may just be the perfect man ;)